April 1st 2023. SoFi Stadium. Hollywood, California. WrestleMania 39 Saturday. The theater was packed. The trailers were concluded. Hands stuffed popcorn soaked in butter into their mouths. Overpriced souvenir cups filled with drink washed it down. The motion picture event was about to begin. It's red carpet premiere was here. The Ladies. Damage CTRL. Dakota Kai. IYO SKY. Bayley. This was their moment. A family united. Their opponents were the arrogant, spotlight stealing WWE Women's Tag Team Champions Becky Lynch & Lita and that darn Trish Stratus.

This was no ordinary motion picture event. It was Live...okay, enough film speak. Or whatever that is. This was an action packed ride. Full of emotion. It was insanity. The Ladies made their grand entrance, walking the aisle like A-List celebrities WISH they could walk. Our Captain was rockin' like the badass Polynesian Warrior Princess she is. That's the Captain. On the Grand Stage after 15 years busting her ass around the world. Of course, Team Becky got the "special entrance" treatment...but who cares! I took those few moments to grab a beer from the fridge.

The trios came face to face, eye to eye. They slugged it out. Team Becky cleared the ring. The Ladies regrouped. The bell officially rang. Dakota and Becky started for their respective teams. Becky went for the Manhandle Slam but Kai fought free, stinging Lynch with the scorpion kick. The first of several kicks to come from The Captain of Team F'N Kick. The Ladies tagged in and out, beating the Bitter Hell out of Becky. Damage CTRL brought some triple team action to the grand stage, delivering the Kai N'SKY backdrop suplex into Bayley neckbreaker.

Dakota smashed Lynch with the running face wash in the corner after talking some trash to The Big Dope. Becky went for a tag but Dakota would not allow it. Unfortunately, Lita got a shot in on Dakota so Becky could tag her in on second attempt. Kai tagged IYO in. Lita unleashed an array of offense on SKY including spiking her with the Vertigo. Ouch! Lita on the second rope squeezed her legs around IYO and canvassed her. Bayley took a sacrificial strike from Lita so Kai could turn the tide delivering a rope assisted gamengiri, crashing Lita from the second rope to the canvas. Damage CTRL kept it up, smashing Lita with a triple superkick PARTY.

The Ladies worked over Lita some more, setting her up for a double team backdrop. But Lita countered, planting SKY and Bayley with a double DDT. Lita tagged Trish in. It took so long for Trish to get tagged in, I was thinking she'd get sick of being the third wheel and bail on her team. Trish pummeled Our Captain. I didn't enjoy watching that. I was always more of a Victoria and Mickie James fan, I want to point out. Back to the action. Trish tried to take Dakota down from the top rope with Stratusphere but instead Kai knocked her down on her face. The Captain shook her finger with a grin, reminding Trish she remembers her signatures.

IYO and Bayley got Trish to the floor. Becky and Lita made the save. In a moment of sheer insanity that had Dakota's "little friends" thinking they would make a comeback, Lita and Becky assisted Trish in bringing Our Captain off the top rope with a Stratusphere to the floor onto Bayley and SKY. Back in the ring, Kai got worked over but fought through the pain like Our Captain always does because she's the fucking Captain. When opportunity presented itself, Bayley dragged Dakota to their corner and tagged herself in.

The action spilled back and forth. Our Captain kicked back into the fray, sending Lita to oblivion and back with the Kaio-Kick. Stratus took Kai to the canvas with the Stratusfaction. The chaos went back to the floor. SKY got her first iconic IYO WrestleMania Moment, gliding off the top rope to everyone on the floor with a moonsault. The referee was counting to ten. Everyone barely made it back into the ring to break the count. The war continued. Everyone squared off and fought to a finish.

Unfortunately, Team Becky got the better of this final exchange. Lita hit IYO with the Twist of Fate. Chick kick from Trish to Dakota. Thou should not kick The Captain of Kicks! Lita crashed down on Kai and SKY with her moonsault from the top rope. Kai and SKY were now out of play, leaving Bayley the last Lady standing. Yes, six women but only three Ladies! Bayley managed to get Becky to the top rope for the avalanche Bayley to Belly. But Bitter Time Becks reversed it into an avalanche Manhandle Slam to score the pinfall victory for her team.

It was a very fun motion picture event. My breath was lost. I barely got to sip my beer. It was cinema in its truest form. There was action. Adventure. Drama. Dakota F'N Kai and her dope kicks. IYO SKY debuting Moonsault Mania. Yes, someone get that trending on Twitter unless someone already did. Bayley leading her team in a battle to the bitter end that Pete Dunne could not even top. That dastardly trio of Becky, Lita and Trish won but not without taking some nasty licks courtesy of Damage CTRL.

I know, it wasn't the victory us fans of Dakota Kai and Damage CTRL hoped for. But make no mistake about it: This was still a victory for The Ladies. Our Captain kicked a lot of ass alongside her friends. They were on fire, dominating much of the battle. I'll take nothing away from Team Becky, especially Lita and Trish. They hung with this generation, however I never doubted they would. I'm just biased and loyal to my favorite and her allies. Team Becky won the match but at WrestleMania 39 Saturday it was Damage CTRL who stole the fucking show.

Additional Information | WWE Women's Tag Team Champions Becky Lynch & Lita and Trish Stratus defeated Bayley and Dakota Kai & IYO SKY (14:38) on April 1st 2023 at WWE WrestleMania 39 Saturday at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California.